Robert Wagner Comeback
Still Incomplete
Project Floundering
The dastardly plot hatched by the Nogoodnik and Dastardly Plot
Division to make Robert Wagner the world's most popular leading
man has still not yielded any concrete results, according to the
Conspiracy Oversight Committee.
COC Chairman G****** B. M********* feels the plan may have run its
course. "They've been telling me for twenty years that this
guy is the man to take and hold the top position, but so far a lot
of hard work and for what? A shaynem dank dir im pupik? Co-opt Tom
Cruise before the Scientologist get to him, I said, but no: we put
our money on Robert Wagner."
"Did you see him in Prince Valiant?" replies Greta Goldenman,
the plot's chief architect, who has held her position since that
film's release in 1954. "So cute he was in his tights, I'll
never forget. And his work in Hart to Hart was very under-rated."
The most recent, and most expensive, stage in the plan to catapult
Mr. Wagner to worldwide superstardom was the Austin Powers movie
series, cleverly disguised as a vehicle for actor and IJC operative
Mike Myers.
Ms. Goldenman said that despite setbacks Agent Wagner remained "dedicated,
focused, and oh, so dreamy!"
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Dangerous
Toys For Goys
As we all know it is important to keep the goyim exhausted and confused
and Christmas has always been the best time to get in some extra
licks.
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Will
Atkins Ruin Channukkah?
“I want latkes, sufganiyot and of course my favorite, marshmallow
dreidels but my daughter is boycotting the whole thing and mama
is threatening to make… to make… broccoli egg-white
omelets."
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California
to Suffer for "National Treasure"
The "Big One" earthquake - until recently
scheduled for August 12, 2203 - has been pushed forward by more
than a half-century in retaliation for the film "National Treasure."
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Kabbalah
For Members
"No Hebe Left Behind"™
brings you part three of an InJewCon Educational Series.
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GOP
Convention Special
Follow news and get special behind-the-scene stories of our favorite
Christian fundamentalist puppets as they prepare to do our bidding.
read
more>
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