Dangerous Toys for Tots
As we all know it is important to keep the goyim exhausted and confused
and Christmas has always been the best time to get in some extra
licks. “They are like farm animals on Robitussin® by the
26th, we follow that up with New Year’s and they are nice
and docile for the rest of the year,” says Avi X, Undersecretary
for Goy Holidays.
“What with all the parent groups making a stink it’s
gotten harder to make truly dangerous toys like the ‘Daredevil
Hoops of Death’ kit or ‘My First Hibachi!’ but
we still managed to put nearly 200,000 kids in the emergency rooms
last year and that ain’t bad.”
“Anything they can ride is the best, but flammable, launchable,
pinching and 'assembly required' are still good alternatives. Assembly
required is great because it works on 2 levels. First there is frustration
and humiliation and then panic, often followed by recrimination.
It’s the gift that keeps on giving… to us!”
“IJC members just need to remember to look for the bloody
thumb logo with their ultraviolet decoder glasses on in order to
find booby trap toys for their gentile friends and avoid getting
them for themselves. Although, honestly, the higher literacy rate
usually keeps the worst ones from ending up in our homes anyway.”
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The box from the original "Hoops of Death!"
(photo courtesy Agent 984)
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omelets."
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The
Zog Archive
All of Uncle Zog's excellent advice in one place. Have a problem?
Zog's your uncle!
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This
Month in History: Awake to a Nation of Sleepy Gentiles!
From the Global Hebrew Scheme's Quarterly Announcements Pamphlet
and Coupon Club Flyer, 1910.
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