Star Chamber Uproar Over Gay Marriage Mix-up
Goy Marriage Ban Shelved as Result

An effort by goy Puppet George W. Bush to comply with IJC directives to distract from the emptying of the US treasury has brought him into conflict with long-standing programs run by the Council of Commie Pinko Liberal Homo Intellectual Big-City Jews, known thoughout the Conspiracy as the Full Monty Group. Bush's handlers defended his actions before the Star Chamber but admitted under tough questioning that he shows a "tendency to be a nut."

"It's a disaster!" exclaimed Full Monty Group director Bruce G. in testimony before the Chamber. "The International Jewish Conspiracy has been building up to gay marriage for 50 years now! We're finally in position to drop a major bomb on the American social fabric, and President White-bread goes and screws it up! Doesn't anybody read him the memos? It's yet another case of the extreme right-hand not knowing what the left is doing. We're trying to weaken the good influence of society here, whatever that means. We have to get organized."

"This is going to ruin our chances of a constitional amendment banning goy marriage. They just sound too much alike, we'll look silly. The Elders will be very unhappy."

To complicate matters, a Chamber motion on the issue was delayed by a rider, attached by Rep. Mori H. (J-TX), calling for deli delivery. A compromise was finally reached, however, with members being restricted to ordering only from the lunch menu.

One dissenting vote was cast by Eva M., whose Minority Opinion asked, "How are we so sure that letting gays marry will cause straight gentiles to leave their wives? And are we ready to see gays settle down like that? Maybe they just need a little more time to try not being gay. It breaks my heart that my Ari won't even try kissing girls. How does he know he won't like it if he won't even try? I brought a very nice girl for him to dinner last Shabbos and all he did was roll his eyes! This kind of attitude I deserve after I carried him in my womb for 9 months? Her father's a podiatrist, very well respected."

Members voted to have the rest of the opinion e-mailed to them at a later date.

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