A
Reading From the Book of Shlomo
The Book of Shlomo tells of the time Moses
parted the Atlantic Ocean and visited Bermuda for a one-week vacation
with room, half-board, and discounted wind surfing lessons included
in the price of the parting.
From Harold 15:6-12
Then saideth
Moses unto the others who did eateth in that Place which waseth
a Restaurant, but did not sit at his table and weren't really With
him in any other sense than they were there, and it being an Island,
couldn't easily leave,
7. "Verily, and also yea, and some more verily if you like,
I wisheth they did serve something more Borshty, or even Bagelly,
although a Bagel be not exactly dinner food, for see thou, that
this seafood doth it not for me, so much, since it really isn't
Kosher."
8. And Moses did receiveth no reply, yea none, for people had their
mouths full and weren't Wont to speak with them thus for politeness
and also because they didn't know Moses from Adam, who had been
there the week before and did dress in much similar manner but was
known to eat pretty much whatever you put in front of him.
9. And he did decideth that maybe next time he would tryeth the
Catskills, although the name to him was fearsome and strange, and
possibly cruel to felines, but beingeth most verily and yea braveth,
did set his mind upon it, and thereby did it cometh to pass.
10. And he did go forth and command all to de-baptize the Mormons
and other doorbell ringing Types when eventually the Lord G-d should
giveth Man doorbells, that those Types might become bearable and
not so creepy, for yea, unbearable and creepy they are.
11. And he did say, "Ye shall know them by their ringing."
12. Amen. |
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