IJC
Special Chanukah Edition
Dreidl: Game With No Rules Confounds Our
Enemies
Everyone loves the dreidl - or so it seems! Goyim may find them
a source of embarrassment, irritation, and confusion, a new study
shows.
"We're sure that the dreidl is doing its job," says Moses
Feinman. "No one can keep the letters straight, least of all
goys. Explained to a normal person, the rules of the game sound
sincerely boring, but let's face it: dreidl teaches goyishe kids
the basics of gambling, starting many on the road to an after-school
special sort of lifestyle." Many gentiles are still loath to
admit their distaste for the dreidl, however. "You're going
to be 'anti-' anything around Christmas time? Especially anti-toy?
You'd look like a total putz."
A Song Put to the Test
"Dreidl, Dreidl, Dreidl: The Dreidl Song," the famous
song about the familiar holiday toy, may have outlived its usefulness.
A memo issued recently by the Office of the Cantor General has found
that the repetitive ditty is not fulfilling its mandate. "It
was invented to annoy the goys," the report says, "but
mostly it just annoys us."
A list of those approached to pen a replacement for "Dreidl,
Dreidl, Dreidl: The Dreidl Song" reportedly includes Conspiracy
Members Madonna, Garth Brooks, Missy Elliot, Sting, Michael Bolton
and "deceased" Jewish songwriter, Elvis Presley. Andrew
Lloyd Weber, considered by many to be the Cantor's first choice,
was exiled after "Jesus Christ Superstar" and is still
technically forbidden from tendering a bid.
Rep. M. Sholem (J-WI) says, "I sure won't vote for Bolton,
Jesus Christ already! Oh, sorry, pardon my Christian."
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