Are You a Giant Lizard? You'd Be Surprised!
INJEWCON Launches Probe For Jewish Amphibians

Conspiracy theorist David Icke has claimed that most members of the Illuminati (including some of the world's premier Cognoscenti here at the International Jewish Conspiracy) are, in fact, giant shape-shifting lizards called Draconians. Although Icke has singled out two Jewish families, the Rothschilds and the Bronfmans, the International Jewish Conspiracy's Medical Corps fears that other INJEWCON Members may be at risk.

A contributor to Icke's web site has, at great personal risk, provided a photograph of the alien beings that you may find helpful.

"We'd really like everyone to visit a doctor about this issue as soon as possible," says chief IJC zoologist, Dr. Mordechai Zomer. "Any internist will do. If your health care provider won't perform the tests, we can recommend my brother-in-law's college roommate, an ear, nose and throat man. He's very good, and his prices are reasonable."

"So, I’m A Giant Lizard": What To Do
If your doctor discovers that you are, in fact, a giant shape-shifting lizard, there are several basic steps to follow.

1. Don’t Panic. It is important in moments of stress to remain cool. Since you’re cold-blooded, that shouldn’t be a problem. Don't chew your claws: it's not only a bad habit, but you're probably treif.

2. Eat Your Physician. Not only you’ll feel much better after a noshikeh, guess who won’t be violating doctor-patient confidentiality.

3. Ask Yourself Some Hard Questions. Find out what species you are; if you are a kindly species, go home to your family, and consider a career in pest control; if evil, go home to your family, and use them to build a nest.

All giant lizards should register with the Dept. of You've Got to Be Kidding Me by March for training.

Some Ways You Can Tell:
1. Do you often find yourself eating household pests?

2. When angry, do you hiss and climb the drapes?

3. Do you object to the use of exotic leathers?

4. Do you molt?

While these symptoms could indicate lupus, they mostly likely mean you are a giant, shape-shifting lizard.

 
All the Schemes That Are Fit To Print
The original Cabal in Prague Cemetery gave rise to few protocols - only 24, in fact - but the Elders of Zion have diligently added to that list over the years. Here are some examples of past protocols, each devilishly designed to confound the gentiles.
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Ask Uncle Zog
INJEWCON's own Uncle Zog answers your questions about Life, Love, and the Global Cabal - whatever you want, Zog's your uncle!
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