Blackout
Fattens Membership
In addition to several cases of food poisoning that swamped New
York City emergency rooms, INJEWCON specialists have noted significant
weight gain among NY members as a result of binging on the contents
of their warming refrigerators during this summer’s blackout.
“To me, I think they look a little zaftig,” said long-time
Meal Coordinator Freyta Rosten of her daughter Tiffany and Tiffany’s
room-mates. “So something goes off, you have to eat everything?”
Tiffany responded, "This from a woman who cooks for an army
when she has one lousy cousin coming to dinner?"
Health Risks
Hy Goodman, a member of the Brooklyn Chapter, admitted to eating
a number of things his doctor told him he shouldn’t, including
the last quarter of a corned beef on rye his nogoodnik shvoger had
left on Tuesday night after eating the rest without offering anyone
a bite, as well as a sour pickle and several Saltine-brand crackers.
Mr. Goodman defended his actions before a committee of concerned
family members, saying “You think maybe the world is going
to end, what’s nicer than a pickle?” He further denied
that either the pickle or the crackers would have survived the blackout.
“Why else do we keep them in the refrigerator for already?”
His dietary re-education program is being overseen by one Mrs.
Hy Goodman of Brooklyn, NY.
Several members claimed that if they had only been properly notified
of the Conspiracy’s plans for the blackout, they would have
had a couple of people over for a nosh maybe the day before. |
This
Month in History: Awake to a Nation of Sleepy Gentiles!
From the Global Hebrew Scheme’s Quarterly Announcements
Pamphlet and Coupon Club Flyer, 1910.
more>
INJEWCON
to Allow Arnie Campaign
Can run despite “unnerving” accent.
more>
Armed
Forces Admit Error
US Administrators in Iraq have admitted that they misunderstood
a Department of State memo calling for "a more polished Administration."
more>
Affirmative
Action May Go
Long-term plan to dilute Gentile bourgeoisie in peril.
more>
New
Big Mini Toys With Germans
INJEWCON claims responsibility.
more> |
