Larger Mini Designed to Make Germans Think They're Shrinking
INJEWCON claims responsibility

INJEWCON can now announce that it was industrial saboteurs from the International Jewish Conspiracy’s Chutzpah Committee who successfully ensured that the new Mini Cooper™ would be substantially larger than the original in every dimension, giving the Germans, who now manufacture the diminutive automobile, the impression that they are shrinking. INJEWCON nonetheless denies responsibility for the re-make of “The Italian Job”, a 1970’s comedy adventure film which features the cars.

INJEWCON also denies any responsibility whatsoever for actor Matt Damon.

Dr. Ira Baum, Assc. Director for the Dpt. of Malicious Nudging, explains the effect of the subtly increased Mini

Blackout Fattens Membership
In addition to several cases of food poisoning that swamped New York City emergency rooms, INJEWCON specialists have noted significant weight gain among NY members as a result of binging on the contents of their warming refrigerators during this week-end’s blackout.
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This Month in History:
The Epistle to Morty
From the Complotus Judae Romana, found in a sealed jar near the Dead Sea in 1976 by a tribe of nomadic restauranteurs.
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