INJEWCON to Allow Arnie Campaign
Can run despite “unnerving” accent

The International Jewish Conspiracy will allow buff Austrian-born actor Arnold Schwarzenegger to run for Governor of California, despite an accent which “makes us nervous” and a name with an excessive number of consonants, according to a source at FILMJEWCON, the International Jewish Conspiracy’s Hollywood affiliate.

Assistant Elders in the Politics Department admitted that they may have hurt the actor’s campaign somewhat by waiting so long to announce his candidacy but maintain that the damage was minimal and could be “easily contained, unlike Germany.”

“There was a lot of haggling before we were prepared to let him run.” Schwarzenegger brought a lot to the table, however, and made a very persuasive argument for his candidacy. “Junior 2, Kindergarten Cop 2, Eraser 2. He even brought up Red Sonja, ich bin ihm moichel. What else could we do? He runs or he acts. We made the sane choice.”

They are also confident that the campaign will not be hurt by the critical reception of “Terminator 3”, an expensive production in which the gubernatorial hopeful plays a monosyllabic robot assassin with contractual obligations.



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