INJEWCON Brokers Polish Administration in Baghdad
“Preparation for running Poland”

July 18, 2003 — The beleaguered, unpopular, and cash-strapped American Administration of Iraq will transfer control of a portion of the occupied city of Baghdad to a beleaguered, unpopular, and cash-strapped Polish Administration, perhaps as early as next week. “We hope eventually to place some people of Polish extraction in charge of Poland itself,” said one US official, “so this is good practice for them.”

The new Polish Administrator used the press conference to bolster US-Polish relations, paraphrasing the Polish Premier, saying, “Poland wants whatever America wants.” He also spoke affectionately of a former US President, saying, “I want whatever Ronald Reagan would want were he in my difficult position,” at which two American Secret Service agents gave the official a thorough delousing, a stuffed bunny named Wussums, and a glass of stale Asti Spumante.

Asked to comment, several US and Polish officials said, “Mah nishtana!”

Following the establishment of a Polish-administered quarter, several tons of reserve sausages face longer-than-anticipated tours of duty

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